Author: Emily Pair
I am so proud of the thousands of women who stood together for life last week. As a Christian mother, and wife strong in my beliefs. I know God created us to be powerful and strong. He created us to endure immense amounts of pain and sorrow, and yet walk with grace and poise. He created us from man’s rib cage so that we may stand next to our husbands, to be their help mate. God created up to be fruitful, and to multiply so that we, as a body of Christ, may govern the Earth. It’s a beautiful thing that women can create life! So the thought that so many women, these vessels which harbor life within, want to destroy and kill that very thing which sets us apart and makes us strong and powerful, is utterly gut-wrenching. I’m against abortion100%. Life is real. At the moment of conception, life is real!
I lost my baby boy at 16 weeks, and it was definitely not by choice. He was diagnosed with LUTO, and we fought every step of the way to save his life within the two weeks of finding that out. We prayed for our baby, we had strong faith, and we fought to save his life. I event told the doctor I would give my own, if it meant that he would make it. We had a glimmer of hope, and that's all I needed.
But, my body became ill. I had a fever, and my body was slowly rejecting my baby. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I woke up around 5 AM, called the doctor, then proceeded to pack my bag, my daughter’s bag, and my husband’s bag, to go on a journey which no woman should ever have to go on. I quietly got Harper and myself dressed, and then I woke Austin up, and told him we needed to go.
We arrived at the hospital, and the news that we were dreading to hear was spoken out loud. The words, "You're going into labor", cut harder than the dullest knife. I tried to stop them, but my contractions were coming strong and fast. I felt two faint kicks and knew he was on his way. I gave birth to my sweet Hudson Matthew, on October 25, 2016. I held his frail, yet perfect little body in my hands and wept, like I've never done before. He had ten fingers, ten toes, a cute nose like his daddy's, and the sweetest little smile. I would have done anything to keep him in my womb, and let him grow until he was sustainable on his own.
If love could have saved him, he would have lived forever, but he was born with wings, and belonged somewhere much greater than earth. I feel that if all women knew God, and knew the feeling of spiritual connection with that life within, abortion wouldn’t even be an idea. But, there is evil in this world which we cannot control. So, no. I do not represent all women, nor do I support all of what many of them are fighting for. I do represent those women who are hurting, who have gone through the turmoil of child loss, who are grieving, who are faithful, who are strong in Christ, and for those who are lost for words at the nagging question why. Only God understands our hearts, and our thoughts. He grieves with us, and loves us unconditionally.